Dude, way too many strange guys have been seeing my boobs while I've been sober. Something's not right here.
MAYBE IT'S THE PART WHERE I HAVE TO BE SOBER.
I can't have alcohol or caffeine or smoke for a full day before my surgery, to avoid risk of heart palpitations.
I SAY WORK AROUND THEM, THIS LADY WANTS A SODA GODDAMN.
But seriously, it's becoming commonplace for a dude to lift my shirt without even asking my name beforehand nowadays. Sure, he's sticking electrodes to my skin and staring at a machine instead of my cute new bra, but I still want a drink before I flash the guy like it's Mardi Gras and he is the man with the beads to need.
And then tomorrow not only will my surgeon be rummaging around my breasticles, they'll have a visiting doctor, and the two of them together can stare pensively at nipples.
I need black duct-tape to censor myself. TONIGHT.
Edit: DONE. MY NIPPLES WILL BE PRESERVED FROM VIEW FOR THE NEXT GENERATION.
...ew. The next generation does NOT need to look at my nipples.